'Getting over it' doesn't change it. Whether I do or not, she's still gone. She's always going to be gone, and life goes on. It has to. I want to see little Calabria driving you and Simon crazy when she drags home some scuzzy-looking boyfriend covered with tattoos and piercings."She gave me a sad, half smile."I know it's coming, Dad. I shouldn't tell you this." What?" I promised Mom..."I couldn't help myself."Is she alright? She's not ... sick?" Not physically." What do you mean?" She made me promise."I just looked at her. I'd been around long enough, I'd dealt with enough people who didn't want to talk, who were afraid of the news I was bringing, who didn't want me to know how badly they had screwed up, to know what to say."Nicole, you brought it up. You want to tell me. Whatever it is, you must think it would be for the best for your mother for me to know it. Is your promise more important than your mother's welfare? Whatever it is, you know I wouldn't hurt her. Even now, I would. I assume that this is my body, the intense sickness in the stomach, the muscular ache in my limbs and the scale of stabbing pains in my head. I can feel each nerve impulse arrive at my brain with all the speed and urgency of melting snow.Then I awoke... I knew immediately things were different. For one thing, I had an erection. I did not even know how I knew it was an erection, I just knew it was. Second, remembering Toug and how I had left him on the glassier after the kill caused me to feel remorse. I also felt sorry for Trage and Jod, and Treeya, what of dear Treeya? Odd, even the emotions I was feeling for my clansmen was very perplexing and very unfamiliar.It was all so very strange, yet I somehow seemed to know it was appropriate and exactly as it should be. Something had happened to me overnight. It was as if I had become two different people, then again not really like two people, more like one person with two minds each with their own unique thought process.One of the minds,.
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